I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize