: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
