I feel like abortions should bother me more
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
