wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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