my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
