At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
