He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
