the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
