CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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