i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize