I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
