I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
