dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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