with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I won the penis lottery.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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