Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
