Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize