at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
