Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
