I will die if light touches me.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
