I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
