WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
