And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
