Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
