god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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