is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
