she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
