it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
