Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
