I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
