first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
