It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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