You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
