He disabled his match.com account in front of me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
