Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
