i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
