Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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