:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
