listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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