Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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