even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I wear drunk well.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
