i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
