apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My penis needs a shock collar
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
