it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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