Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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