Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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