Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The uberlube is also flammable
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
