My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
