I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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