so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
