we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
