Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
