While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
