Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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